*** Signs Of Immaturity In Marriage: FOR MEN ***

1) Rejecting food wen there’s an issue:

Oga husband, you gave your wife money for food and after it was prepared you refuse to eat because ‘you dey vex’. Its one of the greatest signs of immaturity, its time to grow up! You should not even abandon your home for any reason, you could go somewhere wen angry but ensure that you don’t allow it 2 linger unnecessarily because that is enough for the devil to build on.

2) Telling your wife severally that you are the head:

May I let you know that even when your wife disobey’s/disrespect you she still knows that you are the head. Yu need not shout or scream it daily. Its important for you to know when and how to be firm and put your feet down over issues, however don’t become a nagging husband just to prove that you are the head.

3) Issuing threats:

Beating, verbally abusing your wife, issuing threats of divorce or bragging about marrying another wife does not make you a man. Your strength is in your ability to tame your tongue and control your fist. When she is acting her “childish woman” part, play the “matured man.”

4) Reporting your wife to friends and family:

When your wife offends, correct and talk things through. You don’t have to tell everyone about her mistakes, that will paint her black nd sell her cheap such that you will not be able to redeem her back. It is also out of place for any man to love his mother more than his wife and kids, doing this only sets up your home for crisis.

5) Competition:

Have you seen couples who compete with each other over material acquisitions? Their properties and investments are always in separate names. As the wife borrows to buy a Ferrari, the husband is running after a bugatti. How childish can we be? This also leads to insecurity, jealousy and inferiority/superiority complex. Please let’s check ourselves and work as a team

Feel free to add yours…and do well to follow @ChrisChinaks on twitter.

Watch Your Language

In a multitude of words transgression is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is prudent. – Proverbs 10:19

We need to start watching our language! We need to quit throwing words around like they weren’t important and start using them like our lives depended on it–because, according to the Word of God, they do! (Prov. 18:21).

The world of the spirit doesn’t operate on what you mean. It operates on what you say. Like in Mark 11:23, the verse didn’t say you shall have whatsoever you mean. It says you’ll have what you say. It’s what you say that counts.

Use the wisdom God has given you. Train your mouth to be obedient to His Word. Then, when you need it most, you’ll find that Word dwelling richly in you.

REASONS WHY YOUR MAN MIGTH NOT WaLK DOWN THE ALTAR WITH YOU

………. Relationship is meant for matured and serious minded people. Being fully grown does not really guarantee that one is emotionally matured enough to handle a serious commitment in terms of relationship. When you are into someone who you believe is the one for you but he has never brought up the issue of marriage and when you picks the courage to talk about it, he never make any serious contribution; he promises you his love but its taking him eternity to solidify his commitment and set up a wedding date, find out the reasons behind his dragging of his feet. Here are some of the things that can make him drag his feet.

*He may be having another woman in
mind or he is waiting for another
woman to finally make up her mind but is using you to while away the time. A man can be so close, spends time with you but has another lady in mind for marriage. Do not waste your time and energy on any man who has no plans of getting married to you.

*When his family pressurizes him not to take you for a wife for some reasons: maybe due to your culture, finance or religion. When a man has fear, cannot make his own decision and lives under the influence of his parents. Such man don’t know what he want and if you by chance wins the hurdle and marry him, you will continue to keep guard because the family can surprise you in the future. Why prefer to live in fear in the name of marriage? A man who cannot take decision and think for himself is a poor investment of your time and energy.

*What type of impression do you give
the man who is interested in you? That you are not ready for marriage even when you look old enough? Do you hang out with different men? This will certainly make a man drag his feet because you are undecided about him.
*He will surely drag his feet when you
give him much sex as he needs it; do
you know why? He already has what
he need to pay for, free of charge so,
there is no need to be committed to
you and he also have the belief that you give sex to other guys too.

*He drags his feet when he sees that
you will become a liability to him. Is
your vision, life and career unstable?
Put yourself in order because it might
be the reason why the man coming
around you finds it difficult to be committed. When a man is not ready for you, don’t force things. Know what you want and don’t put your life on hold because a man is finding it difficult to make decisions. You have only one life, try and live it with clarity of purpose.

43 THINGS A GIRL WISHED HER MAN KNEW…….

#1 When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.

#2 When she misses you, she’s hurting inside when u ignore her.

#3 When she says it’s over, she still wants you to convince her u’ll take her more seriously.

#4 When she walks away from you mad, gently follow her.

#5 When she stares at your mouth, passionately kiss her.

#6 When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don’t let her go.

#7 When she starts cursing at you, kiss her and tell her how much you love her.

#8 When she ignores you, give her your attention.

#9 When she pulls away, pull her closer.

#10 When you see her at her worst, tell her she’s beautiful.

#11 When you see her crying, hold her and don’t say a word.

#12 When you see her walking, sneak up and hug her waist from behind.

#13 When she’s scared, protect her.

#14 When she lays her head on your shoulder, tilt her head up and kiss her.

#15 When she steals your favorite jacket, let her keep it and sleep with it for a night.

#16 When she tease you, tease her back and make her laugh.

#17 When she doesn’t answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay.

#18 When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth and sincerity.

#19 When she says she likes you, she really does more than you could understand.

#20 When she grabs your hands, hold hers and play with her fingers.

#21 When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.

#22 When she shares her secrets with you, keep it safe and untold.

#23 When she looks at you in your eyes, don’t look away until she does.

#24 Stay on the phone with her even if she’s not saying anything.

#25 Let her have the last word with an ‘I love you response’.

#26 Don’t call her hot, but gorgeous or beautiful is so much better.

#27 Say you love her more than she could ever love you.

#28 Argue that she is the best girl ever.

#29 When she’s mad, hug her tight and don’t let go.

#30 When she says she’s OK, don’t believe it, talk to her about it, because 10 yrs later she’ll still remember it.

#31 Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.

#32 Call her before you sleep and after you wake up.

#33 Treat her like she’s all that matters to you.

#34 Don’t ignore her when she’s out with you and your friends.

#35 Stay up all night with her when she’s sick.

#36 Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.

#37 Let her into your world.

#38 Let her wear your clothes sometimes.

#39 When she’s bored and sad, hang out with her

#40 Always let her know she’s important.

#41 Kiss her in the pouring rain so far she doesn’t catch cold.

#42 When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; “Who’s ass am I kicking today baby?”
THEN…

#43 After she reads this, she hopes one day you’d read it too.

Follow me on twitter @Chinakschris

9 STEPS ON HOW TO BUILD AN ATTRACTIVE AND CHARMING PERSONALITY by Azubuike Winifred

If your goal is achieve and learn how to have an attractive personality, follow the quick steps below:

1. Don’t mention your distress

We all experience stress, pain, anxiety from time to time. People however don’t need to get involved in your distress and negativity. Bring out what is positive and share it with people…..

2. Listen

Listening to what the other person has to say will bring you closer to him or her. People love the ones who listen to them as this shows you respect them and that you are interested in their opinions. By listening to people, they will respect you and you gain their respect in return.

 3. Be humble

Being humble will bring you closer to others and makes you more approachable. People don’t like others who think they are better than everyone else and who look down on others…humble yourself you have the responsibility.

4. Be an optimist

The optimist is loved by people as he makes them see the world in a positive way. The optimist reminds everyone of the hope and possibilities that we all have for a better life, so be an optimist and people will love you for that….. 

5. Accept constructive criticism

Receive constructive criticism with an open mind, especially if the criticism is made by people who are sincere and who want to benefit you. When you accept criticism with an open mind, people begin to see the positivity of your personality.

6. Honesty

Honesty is crucial to developing a charismatic and attractive personality. After all, honesty is the best policy. When you are honest, you are building trust between you and the other person and this is an attractive attribute that people love. Everybody loves honest people…

7. Smile

You can never go wrong with a smile. A smile comes from deep within, usually as a sign of joy, cheering others, and passion. Smiling at people makes your personality attractive and charismatic and reduces stress.  After all, a smile is contagious. Remember a merry heart doing good like medicine don’t smile only on xmas day…

8. Have a good sense of humor  

Research shows that people love to be around ones who make them laugh and see the positive sides of things. Share your humor with others and they will start to be around you always.

9. Confidence

Research also shows that people are attracted to confident people who are comfortable with themselves and who know what they want. An attractive personality is one which combines confidence with charm, so be confident in yourself.

HOW to BUILD a HOME (Originally by Blessing Omini but edited by Chinaks Chris)

Building a home is not the same as building a house of blocks of flats, a duplex or a mansion. its not also the expensive interior decorations and
furnishing that makes a home. home building, simply put is a godly wife who assumes the status of a God fearing, hospitable mother. The bible puts it this way in proverb 18:22, who so findeth a wife, findeth a good thing and obtaineth favour of the lord.

This is the prime factor required for building a home. i encourage you therefore to pray and seek to be a wife, not just a woman in the house.
The quality of a happy home is not being married to a poor spouse or to a rich spouse but on the fact that the home is built on PERFECT LOVE regardless of material endowment.

To build a home follows the same structural pattern of building a house, hinged on the three cardinal principles of:

1. LAYING A GOOD FOUNDATION: the foundation of a home being built starts with Luke 6:48. its linked to a spouse who built his house, and dogged deep (conviction of choice) and laid the foundation on a rock( certain of God in choice of a bride) and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon the house( arising strife, disagreement, pains, disappointment etc) and could not shake it. for it was founded upon a rock( not unstable water). the foundation is a combination of different blocks joined together, such as dis factors listed below:
a: the spouse must be matured physically ( serious minded and grave) going into marriage not babies, novices or playboys. the decision to marry must be based on a sure conviction that is beyond all iotas of doubts.
b: emotional maturity: is a key foundation ensuring u can bear all tins including the nonsense. if u cannot take nonsense it means yourself control, anger and passion is in doubt. it may not hold sway when under pressure.
c: God fearing: are u willing to surrender to God’s word at crisis times? like when peter said ” at thy word” if God says forgive… i will forgive no matter how hurt i feel. this is the epitome of humility, self- discipline and respect for each other’s differences
d: same faith: and worship together with same vision, same mission and same purpose, two heads is better
Than one. Eccl4:9

2. RAISING THE HOME TO ROOF LEVEL: is a life time journey dat terminates when ”death do us part” and not parting via divorce or separation. building the home at this stage is a continuous day by day, diligent, steady effort of laying the blocks of:
a: virtue: a home wit character, strength and righteousness.
b : knowledge : be creative, learn frm others through reading marriage books, attend marriage counselling, sear @ the feet of elderly women and
ask questions. Titus2:2-3 and apply such knowledge practically.
c: temperance: conquer yourself, esteem ur partner better than yourself, seek peaceful solution to all unfavorable matters.
d: patience: learn to wait until u achieve desired results. haste is destructive.
e: Godliness: righteousness exalts a nation and family too. jesus in the family happy happy home but satan in the family, trouble trouble home. in all your ways acknowledge him and he shall direct ur paths.
f: brotherly kindness: be compassionate, be pitiful, be considerate, be caring, be merciful and be flexible. do not be rigid or stiff-necked.
g: communication: the spouse must be expressive not wit critical mind but constructive mind. always positive , never negative. let feelings be expressed, burdens shared is burden halved. when expression is muzzled or stiffened, fear, frustration, lying, lack of of confidence rears up in the home among members of the family of
husband, wife and children.
h: responsible roles: husband and wives should be the best of frnds and confidant. the husband is commanded in Eph5:25 to love his wife, that is,
love her strength, her weaknesses, her mistakes wit careful correction, thru the application of 1Cor 13:1-13. accept her failures,her ugly past, and bad parts and of course her good part is a bonus to home building. the wife is also commanded to treat her husband as the head of state of the home. she should be submissive, (don’t be stingy wit the cookie OK) obedient, reverent and respectful without conditions even when the husband is known to be wrong.
i: industrious: find something to do no matter how little.
j: a very good cook: dis is a very good part and very important too (guys am sure u all knw what am talking abt nah) bcos FOOD is the entrance to a
man’s heart.
k: manager: managing the resources available to u for home keeping without comparing ur home with any other. ur home is unique and by no means is it inferior or superior to any other home.
l: meek and quiet spirit: speak the same language wit ur husband and vice versa especially before the children.

3: THE ROOFING OR THE CAPSTONE; now dat the home is raised to roofing level, the capstone which is charity will be placed accordingly, 2Peter 1:7.
charity or love, the covering for the home is preferably used than any other material in home building bcos it covers a multitude of sins. all mistakes, lapses, errors, pains, failures, misunderstanding, careless talks are not announced outside the confines of the home to the itching ears of in-laws, frnds, parents and family members. rather seek peaceful solution within your comfortable bedrooms. nagging, contentions , or inviting a 3rd party will only escalate matters and make a mountain out of an ant hill.

wow! finish here i come…… A HOME
ENCOMPASSED IN LOVE AND BY LOVE CAN WITHSTAND THE STORMS AND WINDS OF LIFE. Love u future wife, even while am yet to meet u. sooooo touching, romantic and soooo…………………….lolz

Seven(7) Topics To Be Discussed Before Having A Baby With Your Partner

Deciding to start a family is not like it used to be. Once upon a time it was marry young, immediately start family, mom stays home raising, baking, and cleaning while dad is working the desk job. Times are much more complicated these days with both parents working and sharing household duties, most of us have established careers or are on a certain path and birth control is the norm (or must). Making that step from just the two of you to family is huge with important issues to discuss and agree upon before trying to make that leap.

Here are 7 issues to discuss with your
partner before ditching the birth control:

1.) Difficulty Conceiving
What if you and your partner are ready and wanting a baby, but you aren’t able to get pregnant? The two of you need to figure out what steps you are each willing to take in order to become parents – fertility treatment, adoption, surrogacy – and agree on them.

2.) Birth
Perhaps you are fantasizing about an all natural, in home birth that might completely freak your partner out or vice versa. Who do you want to be
there when the baby is born? I’m a big believer in the person delivering the baby should decide how she wants to deliver and who she wants in the room, but it’s only fair to discuss your wishes beforehand so you can be on the same page.

3.) How Many Kids
Seems so simple, right? What if you always dreamed of having 3 kids and your partner never wants more than one? Not so simple anymore, so have this talk.

4.) Dividing Parental Duties
This might seem like a no brainer, you are picturing your partner giving bottles and changing diapers. That picture is in your head, unless you discuss, as in say it out loud, your
partner will never know. It’s also not reasonable for one parent to do it all, even if the mom is off on maternity leave and exclusively breast feeding.
There are still diapers to be changed, laundry to be washed and baby to bath and all those other household responsibilities. Discussing who can do what, even making a chart will help with resentment later on (and there will be resentment if one person is doing nearly all the work!)

5.) Challenges Of Pregnancy And Post
Partum
Let’s face it, pregnancy and post delivery are tough emotionally and physically. You’ve got raging hormones, which can make you very
sensitive and seemingly unreasonable, but you ARE reasonable! Your body changes and you feel self conscious about this drastic weight gain, not to mention the all over pains you experience on a daily basis. Basically your body is taken over to create this baby and you don’t get it back after the baby is delivered because now you are the food source and everything is flabby and hangs differently. Yep, it’s true so make sure you and your partner are talking about dealing with these changes. Also, what if you end up on bed rest? Will your partner be able to take over all responsibilities having to do with the house?

6.) Gender Preference
Are you willing to raise a girl if all you ever wanted was a boy? You don’t really get to choose what sex your baby will be so make sure you and the
partner will love and adore whatever the two of you create.

7.) Support System
Who will be there to help after the baby is born? Do you have family living close or coming to visit? Do you both really want a house-guest for the first month (or two, gasp!) of your new life as a family?

This list is really about opening your relationship up to discussing issues that will come up, perhaps not all, but many. If they are not discussed, preferably before it’s actually an issue,
then resentment builds and arguments will follow. So really just see this as relationship building and gearing you both up of for the wild and unexpected ride that parenting is. Since there’s really nothing that can totally prepare you, might as well reduce some arguments!

Five (5) Biggest Reasons Why Relationships Fail

There are several reasons why relationships don’t work out well. We will put in here just five of those biggest reasons.

1. FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE MORE – in any relationship, communication is essential. One needs to let the other person know what is in his or her mind. We cannot keep on second-guessing the other person. Open communication even becomes critical so as not to misunderstand each other. Problems arise when one partner expects the other to read his or her mind and you will agree with me that this is close to impossible. Once I had a relationship with an introvert. In our 1st few months of the relationship whenever she gets angry she just keeps quiet all the time and I get frustrated because it was like I was talking to a wall. But later she too realized that it was necessary for her to communicate and express herself in order to reconcile and put the unity back between us. We must also seek to be a listener and have an attitude like this:” I want to understand her so that I can know why she thinks and feels that way.”

2. SELFISHNESS– difficult as this may sound but when we are self-centered, we tend to dismiss the other person’s feelings and say anything we want to say to suit our moods. To be outward-looking is to be concerned of the feelings of the other person. You can ask yourself “Did I make him happy today or did I hurt his feelings?” Most of the time because of pride we tend to hurt the other. In order to maintain unity in a relationship, we need to remove our pride. How? By thinking
and caring more for the other person and trying to serve him better.

3. LACK OF SHOW OF AFFECTION – we are social people. We interact with each other. One of the best ways to relay our feelings and concerns is a gentle touch, a warm hug, a peck in the cheek and other means of showing our affection. It is important to say “You know that I love you…” to the person dearest to you. However you need to also to show your love outwardly one way or another. Affection brings warmth and closeness to each other.

4. RELATIONSHIPS THAT ARE NOT GOD
CENTERED – Christians look at the phrase “Put God first in your Life”. Christians believe that GOD is LOVE and experience His immense love. With the awareness of putting God in the relationship, we elevate that relationship into a higher plane, a
higher level. This is an INCREDIBLE way of enhancing the relationship. Trust, concern, caring, being kind, forgiveness etc. naturally follows with this awareness that God is around,
guiding the relationship.

5. ABSENCE OF FRIENDSHIP – “we’re lovers, not friends” as a saying goes. But let’s face it, being married for say, 7 years would make any couple fall from the ‘romantic’ state and settle to
a “dry” relationship. But keeping in mind that you were friends before you got married and that you did things that you had in common, you can
press the “refresh” button and build that friendship.

Make the first move TODAY; don’t fall for the biggest reasons why relationships don’t work. Instead, communicate, be unselfish, show your
affection, think of God and be the best friend to your partner. You’ll be amazed with the results!!! God bless you today

10 Simple But Practical Ways To Overcome Depression and Sadness

We’ve all been upset. Sadness is a totally natural emotional response to certain environmental stimuli. Most of us have support, or systems in place to overcome sadness, reach balance, and go on to be happy as quickly as possible.
There are two groups of people that have prolonged sadness, or depression. One group consists of those that have a severe chemical imbalance, which requires a doctor, and possibly medication to treat. This article is not geared for that group. Rather, this is directed to the people in a funk or seem stuck in a rut, those that lack the tools, know-how, and support systems to bounce them back.
In my opinion, and I’m no doctor, the latter group of people are wise to seek natural treatments instead of simply medicating the symptoms. That’s why we’re going to look at 10 ways to overcome sadness, without the happy pills.

1. Set Goals
Something special happens the moment the paper meets the pen and we write down our goals. Our brain chemistry changes, neurons fire, hormones are deployed, and we start thinking about how we can achieve those goals.

2. Sleep
Getting the right amount of sleep is healthy for our body and mind. Some argue that sleep deprivation treats depression, but I don’t buy it. I think it’s a cheap distraction that catches up to you within days. Get enough rest.

3. Exercise
If you’re physically capable, try one hour of cardio (or as much as you can). If you’re tee-shirt is soaking wet, you’re standing in a puddle of your own sweat, and you can feel the endorphins pumping through your body, you did it right. Shower up and try not being happy, I dare you.

4. Forgiveness
Many times we’re making ourselves sad for no good reason at all. People have been known to keep grudges for lifetimes (most religions and nationalities keep them for generations). When you forgive, you remove this weight off your shoulders and put yourself in a position to be happier.

5. Gratitude
Many times when we complain we can cause ourselves to be sad. Complaining is just a factor of not taking into account what we’re grateful for. Sit down and make a list of 100 things you’re grateful for right now (and I dare you not to feel better).

6. Sunlight
Certain people have a disorder, in which, due to a lack of sunlight, they experience seasonal sadness. I’m somewhat affected by this in the winter when the days are shorter. That’s why it pays to grab your iPod (or your friend) and go for 30 minute walks each day and embrace the sunlight.

7. Hydration
This has always been my downfall; I don’t drink enough and chances are you don’t either. Some days I drink only 1 cup of water, and I feel horrible. When I remember, and drink 2-3 liters, I’m happy as a kitten on cat-nip, and productive as a bat out of hell.

8. Friendships
Your life force, support system, and everything that matters. It’s not hard to make friends if you put the time in. Everyone wants to be heard, appreciated, and loved. Start off by listening, appreciating and loving, and it will come back your way.

9. Reading
Take a temporary leave from reality and bury yourself in one of your favorite books. A lot of wise people have been through what you’re going through and they made it through to the other side to tell about it.

10. Journal
This could be an escape but it doesn’t have to be. You can write about fiction, and transport yourself to another world, or you can write about what’s going on, and let your thoughts carry you through to a solution. Many great books were written by people who were, at least at the time, going through a period of pain and suffering.

So what do you think? Could one or two of these get you through the rough patch you may be in today?